Starting Over

Starting Over Again....This time for good. Breaking free from these shackles and chains of weight and making the most out of my days by living in the moment, and basking in the glory of change!

Ticker

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Monday, May 30, 2011

Been A Week Again

This has been a very busy week for me and haven't had a chance to blog  Been at the doctor several times to find out I have carpal tunnel.  That's why my hand's been so numb.  But I did want to take a minute to say that I did get my x box and I have played the game that came with it a couple of times and that is really a workout.  I didn't lose my goal of 4lbs this week but I lost 2, and I plan to step it up this coming week.  Making sure that I excercise everyday, and do better with my food choices.  I also want to find an OA meeting that I can get too so I can get too so I can figure out what is up with me and my eating.  I do need to make better food choices this coming week, and keep better track of my points.  But, I am not giving up and a loss is a loss and I can't wait to start doing the Biggest Loser workout and the Dance Central workout.  It is so fun, it doesn't feel like you are working out.  As competetive as I am, I always have to win against my opponent so I would probably drop on the floor before I lost.  But anyway, it is late and I am about to color my hair, or rather my best friend Michelle is about to do it for me.  Whoo Hoo, I am 6lbs lighter!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Weigh-In Day!!



I am very excited to say that I have lost 4lbs this week!!  Yay go me, and it was all done in a healthy way.  I didn't get in as much excercise as I wanted to, but I did keep up with all the food that I was eating and that has really helped me.  As of now I am right on track to meet my first goal of losing 50lbs when I start school on August 15.  I figured it out and it is roughly 4lbs a week.  I know that I can do that.  I am planning on going to the beach the first of august with my husband and baby and I don't want to feel like everyone is staring at me.  It is one of the worst feelings that you can have and you just don't want to go anywhere because of your weight and the fact that people do stare.  When I take my daughter with me they mostly talk to her, so that makes me feel a lot better.  And I dread going to the doctors because they always have to weigh me on the "other" scale because the one that slides does not go that far.  I just feel like in thier minds they are saying wow, she weighs that much!!

But it is all going to change because I am \moving in a better direction, and this weight will be off of me before I know it.  The x box is supposed to be here tomorrow and I CAN'T WAIT!!!  I know that it will be tough, but it is something that I want to do and it really intrests me, especially that part that my little girl might do it with me, or at least think that we are dancing.  All I can say is that I am so tired of feeling this way, being so out of breath all the time, not being able to walk long distances without thinking that I am going to die.  I will do it if I have to, but when I get home, it's like I have to stay on the couch forever to  recooperate.  Going into nusring I am pretty sure that I will be working 12 hour shifts and if I don't get a lot of it off before I finish and start a job, I won't be able to make it.  So that is my plan, to work out 6 days a week at least an hour, with a warm up on the tremill and then some hard core cardio.  Then alternate with walking on the tredmill and strength training.  I got the plan, and know some of the foods I should eat, so now all I have to do is stick to it.  And with this determination that I have this time, I am sure that I will make it. 

Good luck to all of you out there!!

Short and Sweet

Just wanted to say that I am still on track and my weigh in day is tomorrow and I am a little scared.  All this excercise that I have been doing is killing my muscles, boy are they sore.  I really can't wait to get my X Box, and Biggest loser game, which should be tomorrow.  I am going to work my booty off when it comes to that.  I am obssessed with the them, and since I have the summer off from school, I am going to concentrate and workout as much as I can.  We have 12 and 6 hr clinicals at the hospital and I am going to get some of this weight off me before then.  It was hard enough with just the 6 hrs that we had last semester so I know this one will be a lot worse.  But that is why I want to lose at least 50lbs brfore school so I will be a little lighter, and the work will do me good since I will be walking a lot at the hospital as well.

I got Adalyn a small family pool so we were outside playing in it today and she loved it!!  I really want to get to the park near my house and walk some.  I like to be out in nature, but I don't really want to go by myself.  Although I do have a taser and I will get me some peper spray one of those loud horns and put it in a fanny pack.  I am really hoping that someone will jump on board with me, it is always better when you have someone to do it with.  Plus there is nothing like a little friendly compitetion that will keep you going.  My mom has an eliptical and I got on it yesterday and lasted all of 30 seconds!!!  My thighs were BURNING!!  So I am going to add that to my goals list, work myself up to at least 20 minutes on there and when I get in better shape, I will do some more.

Oh well, I am heading to bed, my eyes are drooping.  And I finally figured out how to change the time to Eastern, so now it is correct.  Weighing first thing in the morning and I hope that my little ticker gets to move some!!  Goodnight to all.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Biggest Loser....Oh Yeah!!

Today has been a wonderful day.  I am really sore from the working out, even just walking has the muscles in my thighs and calves pretty sore.  But I am very excited that I am keeping up with the foods that I am eating, which is a lot more healthy, and the excercise.  I also got a surprise that I am getting an X Box 360 with Kinect and I am getting the biggest loser workout game.  I have read a lot about it and it sounds really fun, although I am sure that it will be challeging!!  I also want to get the Zumba and Dance for kinect.  It will be something that I can do with Adalyn, because she will think that it is a game and hopefully do it with me.  She will just think that we are dancing!!



Last night I did the same workout, walked a mile on the tredmill, did some ab excersices, and some arm excersices with 3lb hand weights.  Working on burning that muscle so it will continue to burn my fat.  I have decided that I am going to take off on Sunday's so I can give my body a day of rest and I don't want to get burned out and quit.  I really can't wait until Monday so I can weigh-in and see if my hard work has paid off.  I am one of those that like to weigh EVERYDAY, and I have learned that my weight fluctuates from day to day and if I see a number that is higher, it always get's to me.  I end up quiting because I let my mind think that it is not working and I have to do something else.  So I did peek on Wednesday, but I haven't looked since, and I don't plan on it until Monday.  Although I have to say that it drives me crazy wanting to look. 



I start school back August 15th and I am hoping that I can lose at least 50lbs by then.  I think that it averages out to a little over 4lbs a week.  Which I really think is doable!!  Then over the period of a year, I am hoping to lose at least 100lbs, then the next year another 100, or maybe I could get 134lbs.  Or 117lbs over two years.  Whatever the weight I am hoping that I can get as much off as I can and change my life and habits.  Until the next entry, healthy lifestyle prayers for all!!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Better Days Means a Better Life


More than just a workout, heart and body healthy is what I am striving for!!!

Well I have to say that today has been a really good day.  I got Adalyn to sleep around 9:30, which was a miracle, and I have done wonderful on my diet.  Keeping up with everything that I eat, and last night I did get my first work out in.  It feels so good to know that I started already, now there is no turning back.  I walked for 30 minutes, then did some abs, and some arm weights.  The one that I have are three pounds and I think that is plenty enough to start with.  I was watching the Doctors yesterday and they said on there that if you are weight training that you are still burning calories all day and even when you sleep, becaus the muscle fibers are trying to repair themselves so they are working and burning up those calories.  For some reason when I work out it relax's me and I am able to fall asleep like a dream.  I am about to hit the
tredmill as soon as I am finished here and hopefully get to bed alot sooner that way I can get up sooner. 



                                                                         

I am really proud of myself for making this commitment and this time I am going to stick too it.  It's not that hard and I basically get to eat whatever I want, besides greasy cheeseburgers and fries and I am to the point that I don't ever want that stuff going into my body EVER again.  Not saying that I will never eat a burger, but it will be one that I cook that is healthy and grilled to perfection.  I don't want to take up to much time because I am ready to walk a little, mainly cause I am sleepy and ready for bed.  So until the next time, I am going to burn some calories and I hope that you all have a GREAT night and wonderful days tomorow, wherever you will be.  For me I am going to see my mama.

So I Took A Peek, and It Wasn't Good


Here is almost 2am and here I am bloggin away.  Just got my girly to sleep, and now I am going to hop on that tredmil, yes, at 2 'oclock in the morning.  I took a peek at the scale this morning when I woke up and it hasn't moved :(  Normally that would discourage me and I would quit, but I am NOT!!!  I am going to keep going and going for the rest of my life.  I have gone through almost all the food in the house and put points values on them.  That helps me out alot because when I get ready to get something, all I have to do is journal what I ate because the points are already there. 

I would really love to be able to talk with a Nutritionist, maybe I could learn some things.  Eating healthy isn't as easy as you would think.  Most things you have to prepare because already processed foods are so high in sodium and I am trying to keep that down as much as I can.  Another thing is that healthy food cost so darn much.  You think that it would be cheaper seeing as there is an obesity epidemic.  I mean come on people, if we were able to afford the foods we might be more inclined to purchase them.  But who wants to do that when you can go to local fast food restaurant and get all you can eat for a very small price.  I want to eat healthy, I want my body to be healthy.

Well, I don't want to talk too much because I am ready to get started so I can finish my *First* workout, get some pounds off, and shower and go to sleep.  Today was terrible, I was so sleepy from last night that I was very unproductive today.  Hoping that tomorrow is better.  Well off to get busy, have a good night everyone.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I'm a night, what are you?


Well at least tonight I am a night person.  Just laid my daughter down for the 100th time.  I really hope that she goes to sleep this time, otherwise I might just fall over.  Kinda messed up my work-out plans though.  I wanted to get on the tredmill as soon as she went to sleep and get some walking done, then do a little ab and arm excercises.  I do like to workout later in the afternoon.  I like to finish dinner,wait about an 1 1/2 or so, and then excercise.  It really does the oppisite for me, when it helps to get some going, but with me, helps me to rest easier.  Kinda dissapointed that I didn't get my workout in.  I am just way to sleepy now, and I just heard her scream!  Ughh, I really have to get her on a routine again.  These REALLY late nights are starting to take it's toll on me during the day. 

I did want to add that I am going to do my best to stay away from the scale until my weigh-in days which are going to be on Monday's since I started this monday.  The last time that I started a diet and actually succeeded and lost 136 pounds it was in August.  My hopes are that with starting a little earlier in the year, I will have time to lose enough weight to look really great in my nursing graduation and pinning ceremony.  I know that if I work really hard and stick to it just as I did before I can make it.  This time the difference is that I am not depriving myself.  I am doing weight watchers and get 57 points a day.  And for anyone that has ever done WW knows that quite a few points.  And I love the fact that the fresh fruits and veggies are 0 points.  Really can't get any better than that.  Because I am not that big on meat anyway.  Everything that I have been eating is either chicken or turkey.  I had no idea there are so many products that are made with turkey and are honestly good!!!  I found the best turkey hot dogs that are only 1 point each.  But I am careful with those types of meats because they contain lots of sodium, which can raise blood pressure and make you retain water. 

As far as my health goes, I am on blood pressure medicine, and it is controlled with that.  I am also pretty sure that I am
type II diabetic, but undiagnosed.  I refuse to let myself get to the point that I have to put a needle in my body several times a day!!




And with being in Nursing school I am learning all the things that being obese to morbidly obese can do to each and every part-organ of your body.  My dauhter is not going to grow up living with a mother that is overweight and without the energy to do or go any where with her.  When she gets older I want to do everything with her, and I don't want her embarassed of me.  I want her to tell people proudly that I am her mama.  So the journey continues, and I will most definetly get my workout in tomorrow because I will get my husband to watch her for me.  He is the best husband a woman could as for.  He met me when I was 170 lbs and he has stuck by me through all the weight that I have gained.  He tells me he loves me no matter what size I am, all he wants is for me to be healthy.  And for that, I have to get this weight off.  I want to be the woman that he met, not only for him, and my daughter, but for me.  Can't wait until the first time that I am able to go to a theme park, not be embarassed, not worrying about whether I will fit on the ride, and not being too tired to walk around.  So I dream of the days to come, and make them a reality day by day.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

One Day Down....Forever To Go!!


So I am one day into my new life and I feel confident.  I have tried dieting my whole life and one timeI was successful, but that was because I restricted myself from Carbs.....and this is where it got me, heavier than ever!  So I am NOT going with all the fad diets, I am going to eat healthy and excercise.  So what is healthy?  I am learning that as I go.  What is good for you and what's not.  Fast food-OUT, Sugary Snacks-OUT, Fried, Greasy, Foods-OUT!!  Veggies-IN, Fresh Fruits-IN, Healthy non processed meats-IN.  Going to start my excercise today and see how that goes.  I am a little...well actually ALOT out of shape.  Probably will start out with a slow walk on the tredmill and some stretching and ab excercises.  I love the food journal that I bought.  I am tracking every morsel that goes into my mouth and I had 8 points left last night.  It was late and I didn't want to use them up so late.  Today I will try to get them all in, because I want this to be a healthy new lifestyle that I am creating with healthy foods, not one where I starve myself and then binge when I decide that it's not working.  Today I am going to head over to my mom and dad's to get some fresh veggies out of the garden, which is good for me I am getting out of the house, which has become my haven, and getting my daughter outside to some fun with her little friend Ariana. 

Ariana is my best friend, Michelle's,  little girl and she is two weeks older than my daughter.  We found out we were pregnant on the same day and were due the same day.  Michelle went a week early and I went a week over, since she is my first and only.  I love spending time with them becuae well....she's my best friend and she understands what I am going through. After that going to head over to my other best friend, my sister, Misty.  Love ya sis if you are reading.  She has two little boys who are the light of my life as well.  When she had Tyler, her oldest, it changed my life.  Don't want to really go into my past too much, because it is the past and I am not going to dwell on it, but he was like an angel to me.  Gavin, the youngest is my little sweetie.  The most behaved child EVER!   Well at least when he is at my house :) 

My mom is my inspiration, I want to be just like her.  She is loving, caring, supportive, and would give me or misty her last dollar.  So you see, I have support.  That is not the reason that I am so overweight.  I am still trying to figure that out and I am hoping that I wll through this transformation I am planning on.  I need to be healthy, and active and teach my child those same things.  With the record number of childhood obesity's that we see today, I don't want her to be a statistic.  I want her to be Adalyn Grace, her own person.....In CHARGE of her life who doesn't let food run her life.  Food is NO longer in control of me.  I am taking my life back!!!

Well, I am headed off to enjoy a day of activity!!!  Enjoy everyone :)

Getting Started

Ok, so my name is Shanda Palma and this is the first time that I have ever blogged.  Kind of worried about putting myself out here, but I am really need the help of others that are in the same situations as me.  Ok, so I NEVER tell anyone how much I weigh, and I am about to tell the whole entire world.  So please be gentle with me and respect the fact that it really takes a lot for me to do this.  I am 374 pounds.....there I said it.  And I am doing this to keep up with my progress and just meet some people.  My goal wieght is 150 pounds so I need to lose a total of 224 pounds.  Man tha is a whole person.  I am doing Weight Watchers and I get 57 points a day.  I am not actually signed up with the web site but I have the new calculator and it tells you how many points you get.  I bought a journal to keep track of all the food that I eat.  I want to be healthy for my daughter.  I don't want to have a heart attack and leave her.  She means more to me than I could have ever imagined. 



Adalyn is 16 months and I want to teach her the right way to eat and to be active.  My worst nightmare would be for her to struggle with her weight, as I have my entire life.  This summer that I have off from school is the perfect time for me to begin a new life.  A new life with my husband, and my baby.  With the strength that the Lord has given me and the determination that I have is going to keep me going.  I am sure there will be days I feel like giving in, but I want to be able to get on here, tell everyone how I feel and hopefully have some wonderful friends that can motivate me.  I have all of the tools, I just have to do it.

Please feel free to talk with me and let me know your stories.  I have struggled with weight my entire life, and I am tired of the struggle.  I just want to be normal, whatever that is, but I know it isn't this.  I lost 136 pounds before I had my daughter on the Atkins diet, but I totally lost it with that and I am praying that this is going to work.  Of course I have to put in th effort with some excercise, that I plan on starting to love, and keeping my food healthy.  There are a few goals that I have for the week so I am going to outline them and stick with it.  Each week I will come up with three things that I want to accomplish.  So, now that I have let you into my world, let's get started!!

1.  Eat all of my 57 points for the week
2.  Excercise at least 30 minutes a day.
3.  Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.
May 16, 2011                        
Starting Weight - 374
Goal weight - 150